Most expect cancer to affect their physical and emotional well-being. But many aren’t prepared for how this illness can impact relationships.

Perhaps you’ve had to step back from your usual role in the household. Or, your friends might be treating you differently now. Whether it’s your relationship with your partner, family members, or mates, cancer can have a profound effect on these connections.

Keep reading to discover how cancer may alter various close relationships and the strategies to cope with these changes.

Spouse or Partner Relationships

You can never really know how cancer will affect your relationship with your spouse or partner. Some people feel closer to each other while others grow apart. Even if you had a good relationship to begin with, no bond is immune to common challenges that cancer brings including:

• Collective fears: Both you and your loved one might be dealing with anxiety about your illness.
• Changes in your usual dynamic: Both of you are going through a difficult period and might not have the same emotional connection or feel like your usual selves around each other.
• Adapting to new roles: You might not be used to being cared for by your partner, while your loved one might find it difficult taking on the role of carer.
• Adjusting to a new routine: Both your usual daily routines will need to accommodate appointments related to cancer care, and you might not be able to participate in certain activities anymore because of physical limitations.
• New financial considerations: Cancer is an expensive illness to treat, and this might add financial strain to your relationship.
• Changes in physical and sexual intimacy: You might not be physically and emotionally ready to connect in your usual way with your partner.

Coping Strategies:

• Open communication: Communication plays a key role in navigating any change together and this is especially so when cancer is thrown into the mix. Maintain an open line of dialogue about fears, expectations, and needs to help prevent relationship problems.
• Seek support together: Consider seeking help from a counsellor together or attend support groups to connect with other cancer survivors, cancer patients, or couples facing similar situations.
• Redefine intimacy: Explore new ways to connect and express love in a way that fulfils both your needs.

Friendships and Adult Family Relationships

You might find different reactions from family and friends once you share your cancer diagnosis with them. Some might reach out more and provide support through this tough period, while others might distance themselves. This can happen for a variety of reasons including:

• Having their own sadness and fear knowing their loved one has cancer.
• Feeling unsure of what to say or how to offer support and help.
• Having their own past experiences with cancer which brings up difficult memories.

Coping Strategies:

• Take the lead in educating: If you’re comfortable, share information about your diagnosis and treatment, along with the changes you’re experiencing. Share some verified resources such as website links to help them read more about cancer and the impact on people’s lives. 
• Be clear about what you do and don’t want: Share your preferences regarding visits, discussions about cancer, and requests for help. People often appreciate clear communication about things like how they can help or whether you’d like to keep in touch in a different way.
• Accept that relationships change: There are seasons to friendships and you might naturally grow distant or closer to some friends during this period.

Parent-Child Relationships

Parents with cancer face the dual challenge of managing their health while guiding their children through the emotional and practical demands of the illness. You might experience relationship challenges like:

• Helping your child understand cancer: Your child will likely have a lot of questions about what cancer is and how it affects you and the rest of the family. Some children might misunderstand that cancer is their fault.
• Fear and worry about losing you: Knowing that cancer is potentially life-threatening might cause them to worry about losing you and what their life might look like without you.
• Navigating changes in family dynamics: Family roles might change because of your physical or emotional limitations.
• Disruption of routines and daily life: Medical appointments and cancer treatment needs to be accommodated in your family’s routine. You may also not be able to spend as much time with them as you used to.
• Feeling they have to stay strong: Some children may feel they should hide their feelings to protect their own parents.

Coping Strategies:

• Honest, age-appropriate communication: Shielding children from the truth can often lead to more anxiety. Sharing information appropriate to their age and understanding in a way that makes sense to them can help them feel more secure. 
• Professional support: Family counselling can provide a safe space for expressing concerns and navigating the emotional challenges that arise.
• Communication with school and teachers: Consider talking to the school and teachers about your diagnosis, so they can support your children’s wellbeing at school.

Keep Communicating to Handle Relationship Changes

Cancer inevitably changes relationships, but there are ways to cope with these changes. Honest, frequent communication is often the key to unlocking stronger bonds and ironing out misunderstandings. 

Find out how Osara Health uses personalised coaching to help those living with cancer to communicate more effectively to build stronger relationships with those around them.